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Man, 1985 was a great year for metal, wasn't it? Possessed with "Seven Churches", Bathory with "The Return" and Celtic Frost with this jackbooted ass-stomper. Tom "Tommy Boy" Fischer may have gone all avant-garde and stopped making decent music long ago, but back in the day, did anybody thug cooler riffs? After the legendary "Morbid Tales" scarred forebrains from Stockholm to San Francisco, who would have thought an even better album was on the way? "To Mega-Therion" is just the biggest, fattest fistful of riffs you can imagine.

Can't categorize Celtic Frost by today's standards, because they predate them. They were obviously really, really into Venom, and I would say this album is pretty much the ultimate example of that style of metal: raw, brutal, and in your face. There's not a gimmick in sight, just riff after almighty riff thrown in your face. If you ever want to test and see if you're metal, just slap on "Jewel Throne" – if that riff doesn't get your head flailing, then you just are not metal, and you need help. This album is a classic that still has teeth after…holy shit twenty-one years. "Dawn Of Meggido", "Eternal Summer", "Circle Of The Tyrants", "Necromantical Motherfucking Screams" – I mean, what more is there to say? This album had a huge influence on the modern Black Metal scene, as well as other fine bands like The Crown and (duh) Usurper.

Tom and the guys may look fruity in the band pics, but this album kicks your ass and keeps it kicked. Even the extra track, a live in the studio jam called "Return To The Eve" is really fucking cool, as it sounds like an album track, played with even more energy and aggression. Essential. No really, essential.