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[Sargon the Terrible]

My review of Abhor's new album is thus:

Well, this isn't terrible or anything, but I don't really know what it is trying to do. Abhor are a band who have been kicking around for a long time, but I have not heard any of their old stuff, so I can't say if this differs. What I can say is that this has been pretty seriously infected by post-rock and shoegaze, and thus is only intermittently interesting. The actual Black Metal parts of this are fairly compelling, but they are few and far between, adrift in a sea of acoustic strumming and atmospheric bullshit. Inoffensive.

The promotional email I just got references it thusly:

“Compelling” – Metalcrypt.com

 

[MetalCrypt]

 

[Apostasy]

Wow... tisk tisk Moribund Records 

[Menternor]

Well, marketing is the art of selling useless shit to people with money isn't it? 

[Claus]

  That is so funny, words can't even begin to describe it.

[MetalMike]

That is hysterical!   

[MetalCrypt]

two more weeks...

…until ABHOR's masterful (and MORIBUND debut) “Ab Luna Lucenti, Ab Noctua Protecti” is released! and lately, it's been slaying the critics worldwide, as these snippets are testament to:

•“Abhor seem to want to transcend, and judging by the quality of the songwriting, musicianship, and esoteric hymns found here, they have succeeded” – Zero Tolerance [5/6 rating]

•“The two different elements, raw and symphonic, combine very well…intersects nicely with moments of despair and melancholy” – About.com

•“Packs in enough weird character to make this well worth the time of occult metal voyagers” – MetalReviews.com [8/10 rating]

•“A pretty successful effort, and an enjoyable and accessible listen” – Eternal-Terror.com [4/6 rating]

•“An epic release and could end up making my top ten list at the end of the year” – Wickedchannel.com

•“So different and a refreshing change from either the full-on symphonic or grim black metal you get most of the time” – Absolute Zero Media webzine

•“Compelling” – Metalcrypt.com

so, what do YOU have to say about it? would love to quote any review-age you've crafed, for promotional purposes. additionally, ABHOR are currently available for email interviews! get in touch + i'll make it happen in short order – in the meantime, take care + control!

Note how short our quote is compared to the others.

Sure makes me wonder after some of the quotes I've seen in ads over the years.

[MetalMike]

I find it interesting that two of the entities quoted use a 6 point rating system.  How do you suppose they came up with that?  Why not 7?  Or 23?  Weird.

[MetalCrypt]

I've seen all kinds.  I've seen 7, 11, 12 and 13 too.  I figure 11 might have had to do with Spinal Tap.  The most common are 5 and 10 though.

 Razorwyre - Coming Out

[Agis]

You have to admire the surgical acuity of the quote.   

[Lord John]

This is hilarious. 

Well if Sargon finds it "compelling" it must be a good album 

[Feoreunn]

I bet this happens all the time in the ad world. You see a lot of posters for shit movies with great quotes on them, probably cut out of context like Sargon's.

[Warhammer]

This probably would have been a more accurate quote.

"Inoffensive." 

[darigaaz]

Anyone who reads metalcrypt and knows how Sargon writes, will know its a shit album, because only shit albums induce Sargon to lose interest in writing reviews.

Now if it were a great album it wouldn't just say compelling, but would be greatly praised and masterfully criticized through and through.

That's why I never really read any magazines or listen to what record labels have to say about an album.

The thing that bugs me is that these ads actually work, and due to them working, they have an influence on vendors, stocking up on that item, making it seem as though only you (Who have actually heard the album) think its shit, and that you're losing your mind.

Kind of like what Nuclear Blast does, only difference is that not all that they release is shit, but still very commercialized, which almost puts me off!

[Organ Machine]

I've long since been unable to watch movie trailers or what have you with these one-word 'reviews'/'recommendations' without imagining that the original review had the word "not" (or whatever limiter) before whatever was extracted.

Thanks for sharing a confirmation of my suspicion.