Some people should stay home

[News]

News

[Stats]

Stats

[MetalCrypt]

(Not sure if it's true, but it's entertaining)


This was sent around from Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the guest's complaints during the season.

"Some people should not be allowed to go on holiday!!!!! " They walk amongst us!!!!!!!!!


(Survey by Thomas Cook and ABTA)


"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate" .

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

"The beach was too sandy."

"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation' . We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning. "

"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

[Agis]

That was good. Also related to holydays...

We all know how misleading the description of hotels and motels can be. So we put together a translation table to help you out... So when you see one of the phrases listed on the left, you will know what it really means by reading the translation on the right!

Old world charm ................................. No bath

Tropical ............................................. Rainy

Majestic setting ................................. A long way from town

Options galore ................................... Nothing is included in the itinerary

Secluded hideaway ............................ Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered rooms .......................... Already occupied

Explore on your own ........................... Pay for it yourself

Knowledgeable trip hosts .................... They've flown in an airplane before

No extra fees ..................................... No extras

Nominal fee ....................................... Outrageous charge

Standard ........................................... Sub-standard

Deluxe .............................................. Standard

Superior ............................................ One free shower cap

Cozy ................................................. Small

All the amenities ................................ Two free shower caps

Plush ................................................ Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes .................................. Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy ..................................... No air conditioning

Picturesque ....................................... Theme park nearby

Open bar ........................................... Free ice cubes

Concierge ....................................... Stand with tourist brochures

Continental breakfast ..................... Free muffin

[MetalMike]

Hysterical.  I didn't know there were fish in the sea.  I would have been startled as well.

[Master Cthulhu]

There is no way grown humans are this stupid. I'm calling fake, but still funny.

[Menternor]

It's partially true...

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

I've seen this situation with my own eyes...well, I'm not Spanish, but it involved stupid tourists who didn't seem to notice they weren't in their country

[godzilla666]

They were funny, but did you get them through those office emails that colleagues send? I always get those emails, usually they're funny but clearly fake.

[spudford]

There is no way grown humans are this stupid. I'm calling fake, but still funny.

So you're saying you don't get out much then?

[Agis]

I've heard about tourists going on the Eiffel Tower, admiring the landscape and asking: Well, where is the Eiffel Tower?

[Sextus Loverlord]

"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

Hahahah! Some really good ones up in there!

[luciferi]

With things like this there is always a chance some of it is faked, but I think most of us are well aware that human stupidity can in fact reach these lows anyway. Fake? Maybe. Could be real? Oh yes.

Funny as hell though.

[darigaaz]

Similar situation only reversed happened to a friend of mine who was lodging in some motel in the US (Don't really remember where)

The guy taking care of the motel asked him as he was checking out.

"so where are you off to?"

my friend replied: "London"

Motel guy: "Cool, I hear that's close to England right?"

My friend just left in astonishment!!!

[Lars]

I had a bizarre experience with some Miami State students when I was working in a summer programmes department at Oxford University.

There was a group of about 5 students that didn't turn up for their induction at Exeter College, Oxford, which I thought was odd seeing as their parents had forked out thousands to get them on the courses. Anyway, it turned out, they landed at Heathrow Airport and got into a Taxi, asking for Oxford University, Exeter (Exeter is around 160 miles away from Oxford). The driver took them to Oxford College, Exeter and they even tried to book themselves in there as students.

We also had a couple of kids set off to go to Aberdeen to meet friends "for the morning". Unfortunately, they were gone for 2 days, as Aberdeen is well over 500 miles from Oxford - a 9-10 hour one way trip. Although the UK is small in comparison to a lot of countries, it ain't THAT small.

[MetalMike]

I had a bizarre experience with some Miami State students when I was working in a summer programmes department at Oxford University.

There was a group of about 5 students that didn't turn up for their induction at Exeter College, Oxford, which I thought was odd seeing as their parents had forked out thousands to get them on the courses. Anyway, it turned out, they landed at Heathrow Airport and got into a Taxi, asking for Oxford University, Exeter (Exeter is around 160 miles away from Oxford). The driver took them to Oxford College, Exeter and they even tried to book themselves in there as students.

We also had a couple of kids set off to go to Aberdeen to meet friends "for the morning". Unfortunately, they were gone for 2 days, as Aberdeen is well over 500 miles from Oxford - a 9-10 hour one way trip. Although the UK is small in comparison to a lot of countries, it ain't THAT small.

Maybe the distances measured in kilometers confused them?   

[Brewdog]

Similar situation only reversed happened to a friend of mine who was lodging in some motel in the US (Don't really remember where)

The guy taking care of the motel asked him as he was checking out.

"so where are you off to?"

my friend replied: "London"

Motel guy: "Cool, I hear that's close to England right?"

My friend just left in astonishment!!!

The wonders of our education system.